What do Jennifer Aniston, JLo, Cate Blanchett, Gwen Stefani and I have in common? We were all born in 1969. And we're all either going through menopause, or we've made it to the other side. As for my menopausal journey, I'm stuck in the middle of it.
Menopause is a beast. It's brutal and lonely and tiring. What I wish is that these famous movie stars would speak up about what they are going through and how they are managing their symptoms. Jennifer Aniston, JLo and Gwen Stefani all have lines of beauty products that they advertise the hell out of. But when it comes to private things, such as menopause, their plumped-up mouths are sealed shut. It's a pity because female movie stars of a certain age could use their fame to address what this phase of being a woman is all about. I'd love for Jennifer Aniston to share her hot flash and night sweat tips, just like she shares her love of Smart Water and Aveeno Moisturizer. But I get it, I get it. Menopause isn't sexy. Instead, it's taboo and embarrassing. Movie stars have enormous wealth and can afford the best treatments, remedies, and medical specialists to make menopause bearable. My doctor always wants to put me on hormone replacement therapy, but when I remind her about my family history of breast cancer, my doc backs off and just tells me, "Good luck then. See you on the other side, whenever that is." It's like my doctor knows I'm embarking on a rumspringa for fifty-year olds, but she can't offer me anything useful aside from wishing me well. The one good thing about menopause is that women gain confidence regarding sex. Women in their 50's are finally able to speak up for their needs and demands, in bed. Menopausal women, we are told, are in their sexual prime. It's too bad that when I hit my sexual prime, a global pandemic broke out and I couldn't bear the thought of dating anyone. It just so happens that face masks and social distancing and ventilators are a major turn off. Oh well. As I was browsing my Instagram feed the other day, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the actress Naomi Watts discussing menopause. Openly. Without shame. Her post was about the positive stuff that happen when a woman enters this phase. Here are a few things Naomi mentioned:
Finally, I found someone famous who is willing to admit they have a vagina. How refreshing! ---------- Hashtags: #Menopause #MovieStars #NaomiWatts #GlobalPandemic
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I received a coupon in my email from Kiehl's, a popular and somewhat pricey line of beauty products. One of their products, a face moisturizer, I use nearly every day. Even with the 20% coupon, the moisturizer was expensive. That's when I decided to browse the mens' line of Kiehl's products and do some price comparison shopping. Much to my surprise, the men's face moisturizer was half the price of the woman's. I did a side by side comparison of the ingredients expecting to see some sort of miracle ingredient in the woman's product, which might explain why it was so much more expensive. I was a bit stunned when I found that the ingredients were nearly the same. So, like the smart shopper I am, I emptied my online shopping cart and filled it with men's products. When the beauty products arrived in the mail and I used them for the first time, I felt no difference.
This is just one example of the Pink Tax, which refers to how women sometimes pay up to twice what men pay for similar goods and services. I watched a documentary about the Pink Tax, and advertisers have a slogan for how to entice female shoppers: "Pink it, and shrink it." According to advertisers, women love the color pink, and we also love miniature sized products. I don't know about the ladies who are reading this, but I don't like pink and I am not a fan of miniatures. But apparently, I'm the odd woman out. Recently, I was at the department store, Kohl's, and was shopping for Levi's jeans. The women's Levi's were $79. I decided to browse the men's section and see how much the jeans were there. My mouth dropped open when I saw that the same pair of jeans for men was $50. Guess which pair I purchased? The men's jeans, obviously. Other examples of the Pink Tax where women pay more than men include:
I've started purchasing the male version of as many of the above-listed products as possible. I love men's deodorant and socks! So, for my female readers, consider buying the male version of everyday products and start saving money. We are already behind the curve in terms of earning less than men, so let's be savvy shoppers and outsmart the advertisers who want to pink it and shrink it and double the price. --------- Hashtags: #PinkTax #Shopping It's State Fair time in New Mexico. The last time I went to the fair was 15 years ago when I was engaged to be married and I attended with my fiancé and his parents. The engagement ended and we didn't get married, but that's a blog entry for another time. My main observation about the fair is: when did it get so expensive? Parking is $20, and admission is $15. The last time I attended the fair, a turkey drumstick (a popular fair food item) was $5. Now it's a whopping $18. You have to practically be wealthy to go to the fair. The main reason I attended the fair was to see the arts and crafts and hopefully find inspiration. I also wanted a funnel cake and a fresh-squeezed lemonade. The line for the funnel cakes was about fifty-people deep, and I didn't want to wait that long, so I settled on a small bag of kettle corn, which was delicious, but expensive. I also got a small lemonade, which, at $10, felt like a rip off and a massive splurge. I did a lot of people watching and wondered how large families afforded the steep prices of admission, food, and treats. And that's not even including the carnival rides. Lord only knows how much it costs to ride the bumper cars and Ferris Wheel. Despite my complaining about the prices at the fair, I'm glad I went. If I don't attend the fair for another 15 years, I wonder how much turkey drumsticks will be then? ----------
Hashtags: #StateFair #NewMexico When I was a sophomore in college, I enrolled in a watercolor painting course, and it turns out that I was really good at it. While the other students struggled with controlling the water and pigment, I innately understood how to create beautiful washes. My professor, Gail Lutsch, heaped praise on me, and for the first time in my life, I was the teacher's pet! I used to paint a lot, but life got in the way and I've been a bit lazy when it comes to practicing my hobby of painting. A couple weeks ago, I decided to start a side hustle by creating a website for my watercolors and selling them. Side hustles are all the rage nowadays, so I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. If you have some time to spare, please check out my new website. I'd love to hear your feedback! Here are a few of my paintings. ----------
Hashtags: #Watercolor #Painting #SideHustles Have you heard of positive psychology? I hadn't heard of it until this week when I met with my therapist. I've seen a therapist (or rather a series of therapists) since the mid '90's. Initially, I went to therapy to deal with a lot of unresolved anger. My anger was eating me alive and I could barely function. I hated the world, I hated myself, I hated my family, I hated strangers in the supermarket. I was miserable and needed to work through a lot of issues. Thankfully, I am no longer consistently battling anger. Don't get me wrong--I have flares from time to time, but I also have a set of tools that I learned in therapy to help me cope with and manage the flare ups.
For the majority of my time in therapy, I have focused on fixing what's wrong with me. But this week my therapist and I pivoted and focused on what's going well in my life. It was the first step in learning about and practicing positive psychology. Wikipedia describes positive psychology as the scientific study of what makes life worth living, focusing on both individual and societal well-being, and its aim is to improve quality of life. Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, created an acronym called PERMA, which outlines the core tenets: Positive emotions such as excitement, satisfaction, and awe Engagement in activities that draw and build upon one's interests, ideally reaching the state of flow Relationships that fuel positive emotions Meaning and purpose and understanding there is something greater than one's self Accomplishments that are the pursuit of mastery What I like about positive psychology is that it boils down to expressing gratitude, discovering your strengths, cultivating kindness, and prioritizing close relationships. If this blog post piqued your interest, you can read more about positive psychology at this website. ---------- Hashtags: #Anger #PositivePsychology #Therapy #Gratitude I don't know about you, but I am so thankful that summer is winding down. Historically, summer is my least favorite season. I much prefer spring and fall. The heat of summer really gets to me, especially living in a desert climate. One-hundred degree days combined with hot flashes from menopause make me grumpy, on edge, and fatigued.
Many people love summer and look forward to it all year. I don't understand these people. When summer rolls around, I have to dig deep inside to gather all my courage and coping mechanisms. I loathe summer so much that I complain about it to my therapist. We refer to it as my summertime sadness. My sister and I had a FaceTime call recently and she said she feels like she has reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. She commented that when everyone else is busting out their shorts and swimsuits and taking 2-week vacations, she prefers to stay inside and read or watch Netflix. My sister stated she's irritable and agitated during the summer, and basically longs for the days until October approaches, when she is magically filled with new vigor and energy. I think my sister's and my disdain for summer stems from our childhood. We were very poor and lived in the country, about a 15 minute drive to our friends' homes. Calling our friends on the telephone (remember doing that back in the day!) was long distance and expensive. This was in the 80's before we had iPhones and texting. Our family home didn't have air conditioning, so there was no escaping the heat. We couldn't afford to attend summer camp, so we were left to find ways to entertain ourselves during a three-month stretch of heat and humidity filled days. While our parents were at work, we completed chores, did Jane Fonda workouts, and read. A lot. We counted down the days until school started in late August because we would see our friends again and could flirt with the boys we had crushes on, whom we missed all summer long. As I write this, I hear bugs buzzing outside. It's a familiar noise, the soundtrack of summer. October can't come soon enough. ---------- Hashtags: #Summer #SummertimeSadness Today in the USA, it is National Thrift Shop Day. It's a day to celebrate the fun that comes from finding wonderful treasures at used merchandise stores. If you're not acquainted with thrift shops, they are retail establishments that sell gently used items, including clothes, books, home furnishings, and so on. Typically, charitable organizations run thrift stores to raise money according to the organization’s charitable purpose. The organization may also use some of the items to help others get back on their feet after a disaster or when times have been difficult. As a kid, my family shopped at thrift stores often, especially when we were visiting a new town or city. We would take vacations to Denver and to Estes Park at least once per year, and during each vacation, one day would be dedicated to thrift store shopping. Because the items sold in thrift stores are donated by locals, it's especially fun to go thrifting out-of-town. You can get a sense of the town's ethos by what it sells in the thrift shops. As I've grown older, my love for thrift store shopping has remained intact, and I thought it would be fun to showcase some of the items I've found at thrift stores. Bottom, left to right: 1. Fiestaware pizza tray that I use as a fruit plate (Retail price is $35; I got it for $12) 2. Beautiful hand made afghan (On Etsy this could cost $100; I got it for $9) 3. Wooden plant stand for one of my Geraniums (In a furniture store this would cost $100; I got it for $50) I try to hit up my favorite thrift stores every couple of weeks. The inventory gets picked over very quickly, so if you see something you like, grab it! It probably won't be there next time you visit.
Do you enjoy thrift store shopping? What little or big gems have you acquired? ---------- Hashtags: #Thrifting #Thriftstores #NationalThriftShopDay #Bargains About twenty years ago, I sustained an injury to my back, specifically, to my shoulder blade area. The injury was so bad that it hurt to raise my arm to get a plate out of the kitchen cabinet. I remember thinking to myself that this must be what my grandmother meant when she said that getting old is the shits. I figured I'd just have to live with the pain for the rest of my life. It was a depressing notion. I went to the doctor to have my back examined and left with a prescription for pain killers. The pain killers made me drowsy and didn't help with the underlying issue. This is a common medical practice in the USA: see a doctor for pain, and receive medication that sometimes masks symptoms but rarely addresses the root cause of the problem. A friend at work noticed that I couldn't reach the reams of paper for the printer because the paper was in a cabinet that was high enough that it triggered the pain in my shoulder blade when I tried to grab it. She said, "What is going on? You look miserable." I explained that I had a lot of discomfort. That's when she grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me to her office and shut the door. "Girl, you need acupuncture" she said in a matter of fact tone. Using a Sharpie, she wrote down a name and phone number on a post-it note. "Call him ASAP," she said. The next day I called and made my very first acupuncture appointment. I was a nervous wreck because I could not imagine having a bunch of needles stuck in me. It sounded terrifyingly torturous. The acupuncturist was a middle aged man from China and he asked me several questions about why I had come to see him. I relayed to him the saga about my shoulder blade and how miserable I was feeling. He had me change into a light cotton robe and lay face down on a table. Next, he took the pulse in both of my wrists and asked to see my tongue. He felt my shoulder blade and said that he could feel a build-up of inflammation. He said he was going to do three treatments: Acupuncture, cupping therapy, and Gua Sha. I had no idea what I was in for, and replied in a meek tone, "Ok, thank you." The session went well and the Acupuncturist asked to see me four more times. To my great surprise, over the course of my five sessions, my shoulder blade pain healed. Completely! I then began to see him for other aches and pains. Eventually, he retired and I found a new acupuncturist to see. Her name is Dr. Dina Bello and she owns and runs Apex Vibrancy Center. Dr. Bello has helped me with several, key issues and I am so grateful to have found her. One vivid memory I have of her is the session I had the week after Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 Election. I wasn't in any physical pain, but emotionally I was a wreck. Dr. Bello gave me a treatment to ease my anxiety and stress over Donald Trump being elected President. I remember laying on her acupuncture table, sobbing my eyes out. That week felt like someone had died and my energy level was very low. I recall being barely able to function. But with Dr. Bello's treatments, I coped with the outcome of the Election and life was good again. Whether you have unresolved physical pain, or emotional pain, acupuncture is something to consider. If you happen to be in the Albuquerque and Santa Fe area, I highly recommend Dr. Bello! ---------- Hashtags: #Acupuncture #Pain #PainManagement Dr. Bello, in her element
Are you familiar with this painting? It's called The Romanian Blouse and was created by Henri Matisse in 1940. I have been drawn to it for ages. I have this print hanging in my house. In fact, I have a lot of Matisse's artwork hanging in my home. I'm a big fan. When looking at this painting, one cannot help but notice the woman's beautiful blouse. For several years I tried to buy a blouse like the one in Matisse's painting. I attempted to shop for a Romanian Blouse at flea markets, estate sales, antique shops, and even on eBay. But I never found one. One day as I sat in my home looking at the Matisse print on my wall, it occurred to me that I should have a blouse like that tailor made for me. In fact, I should have a lot of blouses like this one made for me. In early 2018, I set out on a quest to find a person who could make me a Romanian Blouse, or at least a simplified version of one. I did a Google search for tailors near me and then I went to visit these stores and talk with the owners about my desire to have a blouse made. The tailors I met were grumpy and rude. Maybe they have to deal with annoying people all day. Who knows. I just found the tailors to be harsh and judgmental about my idea. The tailors' shops were kind of like fast food restaurants: busy, crowded, loud, hot, and uncomfortable. Many of the shop owners were foreigners and we had difficulty communicating. I began to doubt if I'd ever find someone who would make a bespoke blouse for me. One day it occurred to me to tweak my Google search and look for a seamstress near me. Bam! A new result popped up. I got in my car and drove over to the shop as fast as I could. From the outside, the seamstress's shop looked quite different than the tailor's shops. Sylvia's store was European, old school, sophisticated and welcoming. I took a deep breath and swung open the door to the store and stepped inside. A little bell rang when I opened the door. It was a wonderful feeling. There were hand sewn items everywhere, including the most beautiful pillows, potholders, skirts, and dresses. Also, there was a ton of fabric neatly stacked in every corner. The owner approached me and asked if she could help me. I said Yes! I had purchased a red and white blouse that had the billowy sleeves of Matisse's Romanian Blouse. And this blouse had a lovely neckline that was very feminine. The day I went into Sylvia's store, I was wearing this blouse. I explained to her what my dream was and that I didn't know how to begin. I knew I needed a creative partner because I had no idea how to sew. In 9th Grade I took Typing 101 rather than Home Economics, so I hadn't learned about fabrics, patterns, or sewing techniques. But hey, I could type 90 words per minute! Sylvia explained that she would need a pattern and that she could use the blouse I was wearing to make the pattern. I would just need to drop my blouse off so she could take it apart, trace the pieces on thick paper, and then reassemble my original blouse. I think Sylvia thought I'd say 'no way' to having my blouse deconstructed, but I didn't care one bit. I also believe Sylvia thought the steep price tag for making a pattern from scratch was going to be more than I was willing to pay, but nothing was going to stop me. I was a determined woman on a mission! I needed a crash course in learning about fabrics, and Sylvia patiently turned into my mentor. She taught me how to pick out fabrics for my blouses, where to buy the fabric, how many yards to purchase, how to pre-shrink the material, and so much more. She did the heavy lifting by sewing, but I had my part to do as well. A few weeks after dropping off my blouse for her to make the pattern, she called and asked me to stop by her store to try on the first prototype of the blouse she had made using muslin. Muslin is a pretty boring fabric, but when I tried on the prototype and it fit, I became teary eyed with joy and begged her to let me keep the muslin top to wear on an upcoming trip. Sylvia said this wasn't a good idea, so I reluctantly gave it back to her. Next, I nervously handed Sylvia the first fabric I purchased: it was a navy blue gingham fabric. And this became blouse number 1! In 2020 when Covid hit, Sylvia's shop, like so many small stores, went out of business. Selfishly, I was afraid she would no longer be able to make blouses for me anymore, but she quickly offered to make them out of her home, where she runs Leinweber Studio. Sylvia and I are going on 4 years of collaborating on my blouses. She's made dozens for me, and I couldn't be happier. ---------- Hashtags: #Sewing #RomanianBlouse #Matisse #Collaboration #Blouses #Teamwork #BespokeClothing #Handmade Sylvia, with two of my blousesSylvia, with bolts of fabric |
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